So Noah and I got serious again. We were tired of that constant nagging feeling that our money was disappearing from the bank in a slow leak, and seeing as we’re not part of any shady hedge funds or corporate ponzi schemes, it had to be our fault.

We sat down together and did my least favorite way to spend time in the whole wide world: math. There’s nothing more boring than math, except maybe watching somebody else do math. Which is what our budget meetings are like, since I can’t be trusted with things like division or subtraction. What can I say? I’m an optimist.

But I have to admit, the results are always a relief. Not that we frequently uncover springs of income or trust funds or inheritances. There’s just peace of mind having paid your bills on paper before you pay them for real. For one thing, paying them on paper helps you make sure that you actually can pay them.

The thing about our budget is, we don’t view it as a straight jacket. Things can change as necessary. What it is, is a guideline. A way of knowing every dollar that comes in and goes out without having to wonder where it all went. Anyway, living within our means shouldn’t be viewed as a restriction. More like common sense.

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Noah and I are working on a revised cash-flow plan. Which you’d think would be easy, since our cash flow is more like a trickle, but darned if it isn’t hard figuring out what bills can be paid from which checks and whatnot.

Math was never my strong suit. Creating a spreadsheet is my second least favorite thing to do in the world, after major surgery. So the actual nuts and bolts part I leave up to Noah. We talk about every financial decision, we discuss how much money should go into each category, but he’s the one mapping it all out on paper.

Of course, now that we have a revised budget, it’s become evident that we’re only going to be able to eat on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

I’m going to take this moment to stand on my soapbox. Noah and I have a modest home, no car payment, no credit card, just your standard bills—we don’t even have cable! We’re on my parents’ cell phone family plan!—but still, making ends meet requires the skill and discipline of a contortionist. We pay out hundreds of dollars every month for healthcare, but we can barely afford the mounting copay and price of prescriptions. We own our truck free and clear, but push it to the limit because we can barely afford the maintenance and gas. I honestly don’t know how other people make it.

Oh wait. They don’t. And that’s why people have a hard time selling the houses the can no longer afford, paying the creditors who shouldn’t have loaned them the money in the first place, and going into hoc for an education that’s necessary to get a job that pays more than minimum wage.

Something’s broken in this country’s economy. In our credit-saturated, buy now–pay never system. All I can do is stick to the budget and hope for the best.

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My arms are sore. My fingers are numb. I have cuts on several knuckles. It was a fierce battle, refinishing that four-poster b ed.

I’ve refinished furniture before. In fact, I painted Noah’s old boyhood dressers a fresh blue and put on new hardware for Ethan’s room:

Image by Fierce Beagle via Flickr

But this project, it’s forcing me to access patience and muscles I never knew I had.

My parents are having a brand-new bedroom suite delivered this weekend, and I very happily inherited their old bedroom furniture. The aforementioned oak four-poster bed that I’ve coveted since they bought it when I was thirteen, and two solid maple end-tables and a dresser they inherited from  my grandparents. My grandmother told me she bought the set with her very first paycheck from Hughes, way back in the 50s.

Today I finished the bed, which is now a distressed white (I haven’t been calling it names or anything; I used fine-grit sandpaper to rough up some of the edges to keep it from looking too precious, as white furniture can be). When I pick up the end tables and dresser this week, I’ll be lightly sanding and refinishing them in a dark, almost ebony, oak.

By the time this project is over,  I’ll be ripped, or I’ll be Gumby. It could go either way at this point.

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We have a big decision coming up that will affect not only our income level, but also our living arrangements. Depending on how things pan out, we may be temporarily relocated somewhere in the country. At this point, I have no idea where, except I know for sure it’ll be on one of the coasts, or possibly the Gulf, or maybe Lake Michigan. I also have no idea for how long.

As you can see, just about nothing in my life is settled at the moment. We’re just waiting, indefinitely.

In the past, this would have driven me nuts. Okay, it’s driving me nuts now, but in the past I would have already lost my patience completely. That’s one thing that living on a budget has taught me: to wait. We can’t just go out and buy things the way we used to. Everything from a new DVD to a student loan bill is carefully orchestrated, and nearly all our purchases are made after a lot of deliberation, some saving, and waiting.

Patience is definitely a virtue. One that has to be learned.

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This post is going to border on TMI, but how many of you ladies out there are flabbergasted by the cost of a good bra?

For the past, oh, twenty years, I’ve been shopping the Hanes racks at places like Target and Walmart. Which is just fine! I love Hanes! I once shared a glass of wine with Phil Hanes (one of my few claims to fame)! But in the past three-ish years, what with the Pregnancy Boobs and the Post-pregnancy Boobs, shopping the Hanes racks has never been the same.

I believe it was Oprah who once said, “You can’t buy a good bra for $8.” Or something. I don’t always agree with what Oprah considers a reasonable investment—maybe one day if I have a gojillion trillion zillion dollars I will—but on this count, I actually agree. I went to Victoria’s Secret, got a fitting, and bought the best. bra. ever.

Confession: I hate spending money on necessities. I like to go for as cheap as possible, to have money leftover for the things I really want. In some cases, that’s probably not a bad thing. But in others—like a good mattress, or ladies’ underthings—it probably is worth it to invest a little more than you might like. It’s a quality of life (and cleavage) thing. <–TMI. See? I warned you.

There are still ways to get around the expense, of course. For instance, because I have a Victoria’s Secret Angel Card, they send me coupons for discounts and free items. I received a $10 voucher for my birthday, which was basically a 25%-30% discount on a really high-quality garment. Coupons, seasonal sales, promotions: never buy full price! There’s no need! A little patience, and some underwire, can go a long way.

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When we bought our house three years ago, the previous tenants had kept the ten-year-old place immaculate. I’ve been trying (and failing) to live up to their standard of care ever since. Unfortunately, appliances aren’t very loyal. It doesn’t matter how much you take care of them or how lovingly you compliment them, when they get old, they get cranky.

Our fridge, though in good condition when we moved in, is in the throes of a midlife crisis, and I fear it’s heading toward an early death.

A couple of months ago it initiated what I like to call The Next Ice Age. Our ice maker simultaneously leaks into the freezer compartment below and freezes into one solid chunk the ice it actually manages to make, whether the ice maker is turned on or not. How this happens I have no idea; I’m pretty sure it goes against the laws of physics.

Whenever we need some green beans, we have to take a knife and some towels to go dig them out. This is getting old.

I got a flier announcing some upcoming appliance sales at the end of the month. Unlike when we bought our washer and dryer, we don’t have the dinero to shell out for a new fridge. So now we have to decide: Do we want to live with/can we live with a year of interest-free monthly payments? Or can we abide the Snow Monster until next tax season?

Sigh. I’d better put on my parka and excavate some ice cream while I try to figure this out.

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